Quotes From An Airdot
A quote a day from the BBC Radio 4 sitcom Cabin Pressure, by John Finnemore. Starring Roger Allam, Benedict Cumberbatch, Stephanie Cole and John Finnemore.
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- [Phone dials and rings]
- Herc: Hello, Herc Shipwright?
- Carolyn: Ah, Herc. It's Carolyn Knapp-Shappey here. Are you still free today?
- Herc: Oh, hello. Uh, yes, I am.
- Carolyn: Well, to my great disappointment, various better offers have fallen through, and I am in fact reluctantly available for that lunch and dog walk you were nagging me about.
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- Carolyn: Are you busy on Monday?
- Martin/Douglas: Yes.
- Carolyn: Quite right, full marks. Now, prepare to learn what it is you will be busy doing.
- Martin: No, Carolyn, Monday's a day off. It's been on the wall chart for ages.
- Carolyn: Wall charts can lie, Martin. Notoriously deceitful, the wall chart.
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- Martin: What?! Three thousand litres? Why have you loaded three thousand litres?
- Otto: Because you asked for three thousand litres.
- Martin: No I didn’t. I said, ‘We’ll need three thousand litres.’
- Otto: ...Okay, is that sounding any different to you, because ...
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- Martin: Yes, Arthur, but aircraft don’t have chimneys.
- Arthur: Why not?
- Douglas: Shall we move on?
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- Carolyn: Talking of Martin, where is it he’s having this interview?
- Douglas: Yverdon-les-Bains, near Geneva.
- Carolyn: Ye-es. Now that’s sort of on the way back for us, isn’t it?
- Douglas: Ye-es, it sort of is. I mean, it’s a very much going the pretty way...
- Carolyn: Yes, well, it’s only money. Shall we pop in and pick him up?
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- Arthur: Are camels yellow? They’re sort of yellow-ish, aren’t they – kind of yellowy-browny. Is there a name for that colour?
- Carolyn: Yes, dear. It’s called “camel”.
- Arthur: Oh, brilliant! So if I see one, I can just say, “Camel camel!”
- Douglas: Good idea. And that way we’ll know it’s a real camel.
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- Arthur: Brilliant! I love take off delays.
- Douglas: Oh, Arthur, please. Even you cannot love take off delays.
- Carolyn: No, he does.
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- Carolyn: Is this the fastest you can go?
- Breeda: No, but it’s the fastest I’m going to go.
- Carolyn: We are late. We have to take off before dusk.
- Breeda: Yes, I know how it is with these emergency stuffed sheep deliveries.
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- Arthur: Chaps, my galley's been burgled. They've taken the trolley, the duty-free, the microwave, even the hot-water boiler.
- Douglas: Sorry, Arthur, that was me. The lighter we keep the plane, the less fuel we need, so I've offloaded all unnecessary dead weight. Speaking of which, how much do you weigh?
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- Martin: When I was little, I wanted to be a pilot!
- Theresa: Well, yes... I thought maybe you did.
- Martin: How did you know?!
- Theresa: Because you’re a pilot.
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- Arthur: The captain has now at this time disilluminated the seatbelt signs-
- Mr Birling: Yes, I saw.
- Arthur: Er, right, so you can if you wish, avail yourself of the opportunity to disengage your seatbelt at this moment in time.
- Mr Birling: Never did it up in the first place, I’m not a girl.
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Are We Doing This Whole Sketch In French?: John Finnemore On My Radio
So I saw a post where someone wanted to know what else John Finnemore had done besides Cabin Pressure, and it sparked an OCD-need in me to properly catalogue what I know. Below is a list of John’s radio appearances: it doesn’t count occasions where he’s written but not performed, and it doesn’t…
Reblogging this because it’s been updated. Actually I update it regularly, so I highly recommend bookmarking the page if you’re interested in keeping up with Mr Finnemore’s appearances :)
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- Douglas: What was that?
- Arthur: It was Skipper! He's fallen down!
- Carolyn: Martin! Are you all right?
- Douglas: Arthur, how do you know it was Martin?
- Arthur: I was holding on to his belt!
- Carolyn: But you were in the lead!
- Arthur: But Mr Sargent said everyone holds someone's belt!
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- Arthur: I think the Skipper’s done the weight calculations based on five people and d-
- Carolyn: Arthur, if you are about to suggest my weight is going to make us too heavy to take off, very bad things will happen to you.
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- Carolyn: Douglas, have you been drinking?
- Douglas: I cannot tell a lie. What I am saying, I'm terrific at telling lies. I mean I'm not going to tell a lie. Yes.
- Martin: I thought it was water!
- Douglas: That's the beauty of vodka - colourless, odourless, proof that God loves pilots. Or at least the Russians do.
